PAINPILLS-x

Stupid

2010-10-04T03:16:00.000-07:00

My life aint yours to control dearest. Im not some person who will follow easy. Im persistent on not texting you. Im not your toy, your robot that comes in a set with remote control. Keep your lies to yourself boy, playboy. You got any idea how you sucked thinking you rock a lot. Doesnt mean you got all stunts im-all-so-impressed and can be kept by your side.

Im never anyone's pet stupid. Like to lie so much? You are only lying to God, telling, swearing, cursing at your every sentence. But I tell you, I will never ever like you, im pretty much disgusted, what a good liar you are.

I dont like to tell you about my stuff or to let you read my blog, and I never posted so long. I believe you wont be here.

Bye, MIA for now.

And yes, I;ll be back as promised. This probably is a dead blog anyway.

Bday

2010-08-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

Happy b'day to my korh Koo Xing Yu! Hahahas, hope you like the treat ytd and had fun~
Hahahas, thanks for accompanying me ytd,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ((:

Considering...

2010-08-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

Think and consider, have you ever had a time when you feel down and you still want to continue smiling?

Think and consider, have you ever had a time when you feel down, continue smiling but no one notices and the sorrow in you?

Think and consider, have you ever had a time when you tried to smile but you cant?

Think and consider, have you ever had a time when you tried to smile, unsuccessful and you even got called emo or being ignored?

How long has it been? ...
Maybe a week? You have not apologise to me and text me no more. How is it that you can be so cruel to me after this incident? You know I cared for you but you clearly dont understand me well enough... Maybe you want me to apologise to you first but (not giving any blames specifically) it really is your fault, if its mine, I would apologise first. For once, put down your pride and say sorry.

I miss you...

FAILURE.

2010-07-29T06:02:00.000-07:00

Lousy day today. It was bad to nice to bad so I guess overall its neutral. Mr Azhar had posted up a list on who is to go remedial and who isnt and the expected grade of his to each individuals. And guess what? He expected an A1 from me. He thought that I was an A student. I used to ace but not now. Idk what has gotten into me. Ive lots of slacks. The promise I made to myself are getting lost. Are disappearing...

This is what I turned myself into. Maybe I shld start numbing myself again then work and work and work like last time. Then maybe I can ace again...

Today, I had a great time teasing people but I trust that I wasnt overboard, if I ever am, sorry. SORRY! ><
Had ulterior motives on woman, she got shocked when I called her back at traffice light then I was looking at her. She got really really puzzled and then *piak*, I smack her butt and ran off. She said I was very down to earth with my tricks. Owell, see if she can get me tmr. YOU STILL LOSE LOR.

Gonna go on study date soon like previous post. BUT, who shld I invite? Idk, Im gonna stick to 6 people again. Idk what to do becoz I feel sucky. I feel like im degrading myself in all means. I see myself reading and writting notes but nothing goes in. What's wrong?

Owell... Heidi Lim, MY CUTIE! If not well dont come sch la, cough cough here, flu flu there, later make other ppl sick and also later you more sick only la. hahahs, rest well ((:
I want buy coffee and mogu mogu. Gonna need to stock up becoz, revision dates are coming and its impossible to keep on going out of my room just to refill. My picnic outing once again, failure la. Sianz, three weeks in total no cca but tmr still have to stay back lor. Odac stuff. I havent compile the file and send over. Needa do filing ler. Byeeeeeee for now~

Above two pics are done by Boon Chuan. WALAO, FAIL LA, Epic can bo! His smiley face damn funny and good (Y). Good becoz it sent me lmao. Hahahs, great laugh, good one (Y).

Okay, above two again from Boon Chuan, those smileys did not make my lappy lag lor. Hahahs, owned la. ><
-> All this four pic from msn. (Above four)

Me and Felice~ We took a lot of pics on the bus after hiking. Camwhore till siao. These few are part of the many. I still owe her the posting on fb. Darn.

Advertising this sweet for free can! This sweet damn nice~ Everyone shld try ((:

Good good. (Y) We feel that we are like advertising this sweet. Seriously. LOL.

Okay, we look super funny lor.

OVERDUED. SORRY WOMAN.

Woman turned and saw this coming so she smiled here.

I shall end off with meeeeeeeeeeeee ((:
Bye peepo! ♥.

HEY.

2010-07-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

A big thankyou to:
1) Sretsnom - For your concern and suggesting to bring me to doc.
2) Shawn- For accompanying me and giving me your suggestions
3) Kbx - For your concern and thanks for texting homework over

Owell, that's all. Im feelong better now although head still throbs a bit. I was giddy just now but very normal. Thanks for all your concern.

And, GWS to Heidi my cutie, hahahas((:
(L) you la, so faster GWS. Miss you cute face nia.

Gratitude for Sretsnom for hearing me out too. I know your ears must have suffered terribly. Owell, anw, sry for making you see me to also coz you were worried that I might faint halfway :/

Hey, guys thanks and dont worry, im not sick yeah? Okay, got loads of study dates to plan. List of activity to decide too ((:

Sretsnom bangwall((:

My baby photo. Im kind of bored la.

Kaihui plus me. ELECTRIFYING SHOCK~

I kind of wanted to take one pic with my tongue out but fail. EPIC :x

I like this one (Y)

I totally love the brown hair of mine ((:

I love this combination for breakfast and for snacks time.

SEEDLING <3

I shall therefore end off with Boon Chuan's thousand island smileys ((:
(Y) GOODNIGHT peepo

[/edited]

Sad

2010-07-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

YES I AM STRONG. BUT IM FRAIL AT TIMES. I WANT ALL MY GOOD FRIENDS TO KNOW THAT EVEN STRONG PEOPLE HAVE FRAIL SIDES. DONT ACT LIKE YOU KNOW AVERYTHING ABOUT ME AND START ASSUMING. I DONT REALLY WANT YOU HERE EITHER. AND I HAVE MY WEAK SIDE. DONT THINK THAT IM IN ODAC I DO SPORTS AND STUFF, CHEER EVERYONE UP, AM THE BIG SMILEY IN CLASS SO IM ALWAYS STRONG.

I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT IM WEAK TOO. AND I ALSO NEED HELP. FUCK THE PERSON WHO ASSUMES. I DONT LIKE IT! I DONT LIKE YOU ASSUMING SO IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN, YOU THINK I DONT MIND. I'LL SCREW YOU. AND YOU THINK THIS IS THE BESTEST, THINK AGAIN.

NO ITS NOT. I DOWAN YOU HERE. GET IT? ONE MORE TIME, I WOULD REALLY CONSIDER SEVERING ALL MY TIES WITH YOU BECAUSE OUR CHARACTERS DONT MATCH. BEFORE YOU SEE ME FLY INTO REAL RAGE COMPARED TO TODAY IF YOU KNOW WHAT EVEN HAPPENED TODAY. THINK PROPERLY AGAIN AND BEFORE YOU EVEN ASK ME ANY QNS.

No qns to be asked bout today. I'll give no replies.

What love?

2010-07-20T01:50:00.000-07:00

What love? There is no love. Bullshit yeah. Don't shit in my face and tell me you dk how to wipe it off yeah. Ask your momma fetch you home to shit and wipe it for ye, yeah? Fuckyou. Yeah? Fuck you real hard.

Can't believe why you are so naive. Eileen oh Eileen, naive little girl. you believed everything went your way but no. Don't think that way because not everything suits you. yeah okay, skip this shit hole.

For some reasons, I just like the word yeah. A lot of yeahs. Kayaking for odac soon but im not going due to knee reasons. My knee injury is getting better but may still recur. When I was sec one, I had this reason to skip, feel bad. Sec two, good reason to skip. Sec three, want to go but cannot because im excused by Ms Neo. I really wanna go all adventure yeah? But I cant.

Oh today I told Fatty one of my phobia. Only one. Still got some more to go. Weird huh? The strong big smiley also has phobia. I never share it with anyone. Im not gonna say it here only to my close ones yeah? Ice-cream loaded yet? No. I have been saying how much I wanted ice-cream and im gonna get some. I dowan the little vendor ones, I want shopping malls kinda one. Ive yet to go study and do homework.

And one more thing, Don't shit the freak outta people, coz ye shit not worth eh! Go home and talk to the mirror yeah? And see your shitty face and tell yourself all the shit you said to people, let's see how it hurts, you mfb. Lmao -.-

Just digging up some old piczxc. ((: Heyaaaaaa, byeeeeeeee.

Spoilt.

2010-07-07T07:45:00.001-07:00

Everything was perfect until all those bastards destroyed him. And when he falled, I shattered. Back then, I use to get what I wanted. My house (although its five-room) is very big. From my seven sunday beach green and white striped rocky chairs to the big projector as my tv, to a glass separated section of dining room and a long hallway connecting rooms. This was my house I use to have. Not until the day when my parents decided to move, he cracked and I shattered.

Those of you who has heard the whole story of my background would probably realize the stress im facing. The race that I doubt I can finish. My story seemed impossible to most and is pretty much found like a novel but, no. It happened to me.

The poem I cant construct, the work I cannot touch, the bag I cannot pack, the picture I tried to fill with colours.

Sometimes, I would secretly tell myself im the only child every now and then. But, no, everytime after I gave deep thoughts, no. He is still in the same identoty to me. No stranger even though we severed ties. After all these years, how could I say no?

Back then, I would happily go to bed, watching the night sky, hugging all my boosters, with my maid to tuck me in. Freedom, choice and a contented life. But, ever since that day, I cried myself to sleep in nights, fear the day tmr, hug my boosters in fright I would not wake the 2nd day and that I would see him. This is what I fear the most. Follow-up, I use to find time with my friends to slack arnd, giving shit to teachers and going home not talking to anyone. We use to have time tgt, like all of us but now, no. We go our separate ways and we barely pass a long, nice and sweet convo.

I would pretty much like to cut my kite's strings but everytime I bring myself to it, the string wont snap. This tells me smth, this is my life and im going to live it to the fullest. But i did tried to accept it, uve turn into a monster I cannot recognize. How many times must I cry for you? I pray for you, I care bout you, do you know? You turned into smth, hideous...

My life, my rule. How long will I walk on? I hope tmr is all well. Owell, we'll see each other again. But this time, I'll try not to look at you.

Baby, ily.

2010-07-04T06:24:00.000-07:00

Hey baby, look here, will you go out with me? Imy so much. Hahahas, random sentence. I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO O OUT WITH ME! On thurs.

To Dental centre then to Np. Who's with me? Please text, msn or fb me. Also, i just miss my pri sch friends)):
Owell, pri sch life sucks for some part. I need to clean my room somehow. Fattysha is going out with me tmr. She wants my cooking badly. Proves that im a good cook. Plus, not to mention, broke my wine glass before. I desperately need to get a new file and some pen refillers. Plus, new notebooks.

I need black and white tube and sandals + flats. Im thinking of several outings and funds that are managable for church. Picnic is nice, kite-flying is nice, hiking is nice and what else ... ? Hehz, me and my leen-ish ideas.

I want to organize this big outing called the party overhead, consisting of stayovers, bbq and some other things. But, financial and time tells me im thinking too much. Owell, this is me. Frankly speaking, I want more books to flow in and occupy me so I will not think too much of stuff which makes me sad. Hao Xuan has been gone so long already, sometimes, I just cant get over him. He appears in my dreams and fades away and then comes back again. Why this point of time you make it this turn? Labs, clays, math, puzzle reminds me of you. Michael has change into another person during out streaming when you left me. Things have changed now. You coming back? Are you?

This one is to Taemin, my brother. Sometimes, when its hard to let go, look onto the other side and say 'let go'. Taemin, things that are hard to let go, take it as a lesson and experience and nvr repeat the same mistakes again. Forgive their foolish mistakes to trest you that way because when they look back in time, they'll all realize you were a true friend. Its their loss not yours. Treat them the way you use to because this way, you show your cool. You dont lose it. When life makes a turning point and its hard to steer, go slow and turn. You can do it. All the way Taemin! You and your college degree dream~

Peepo, sometimes in life, things may not go your way. But always always pray to the Lord and he'll always open his ears for you. It is your choice whether you want to pray or not. Make it a point to look ahead and be optimistic ((:

I cant post photos because of time constraints and some issues. For now, byeeeeeee.

Thanks.

2010-07-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

Firstly, a big thank you to Taemin who cares when I fall. Good news, sheares run is files to fun category and is now 5km and due to this piece of news, lesser 5 km for me. Good luh ((:

Secondly, a big sorry to a few people for a few things.
SORRY FOR
-Not being so understanding > i'll try to be more understanding and not so worrying all the time
-Messing the whole room > No mood to clean up
-No stayovers > I have no time
-Giving things up easily now > I lost faith since this very particular day caused by a person

Thirdly, I'll make the best out of it and please forgive me alright? I love yall and you you you. Plus, I'll try and change myself for the better. Im sorry to touch alcohol which is like soon because, I havent been touching it a long time and a tiny drop wont kill right?

Last of all, God bless all.

HELLO!

2010-06-27T02:40:00.000-07:00

Hahahas, church was okay. Saw my octo people. Owell, here it goes...
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HAPPY HAPPY B'DAY WENDY!

Cool day today anw. Tmr, is nightmare. I'd rather go bang wall then attend school but then hey, school is still okay. No point in banging wall to ask for more. Today must sleep early lo. Table is still in shitty condition. Messed up platform beside bed. Only thing decent is my cupboard. And, im gonna get ice-cream after red sails and lotsa bubble tea. Cant wait for my aem results, hope its good. A minimum B is good enough. Miss those moments~

These few days is hell for me. Coz im dreading monday. Happy coz I can get to see my friends and have smth to do... GWS to xuan ze, he is sick. LOLs, if ure sick then you shldnt go out or come online. Owell, who cares, his body mah, so if he doesnt listen then he have to pay the necessary consequence lor.

MY OCTO PEOPLE! Genevie is cutting it.

Hardworking Jas!

Our little map, cause newton fc got no map so we drew it out.

GOTCHA!

Preacher Poon's octo buddy and the octo people!
RANDOM PICZXC.

Sexy look here!

Owell, bye for now ((:

Hello hello.

2010-06-26T01:50:00.000-07:00

Things are not what they seemed to be. Its blurry. Cant wait for school to reopen so I can know my aem results but I dowan do homework. Phy, emath and amath on the run. Emath is simple. Chiong-ing now. Cant wait for sunday so as to see my octo people in church. Everyone of them are so cute man. My idea for the cupcake and octo people are cool. Thanks to the effort of everyone that made it came life.

Do all the things you want now and work hard for life because when you look back in time, you'll find yourself smiling on the silly and happy things you did and all the big and small accomplishment you made. Simply, live your life to the fullest.

Max. Dance.

2010-06-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

Uve came back asking me to go somewhere. I say that if Im willing to go Sydney would you let me off, you said yes. But I didnt want to because I love this guy. Six years ago, I waited for you three yeas in that bloodied school. I dont have to suffer in classes and I can get to hang out with you. I still rmb that time in science lab, I wanted to go sponge the test tube and clean it. I didnt know there were glass shards in the sponge. As I pressed down, those glass shards went in and I scream in pain. I knew that you were there noticing me so I didnt cry.

I hold back my tears to show how brave I am. But I guess its all down to the drain. Owell, you said you may never come back from Sydney so I guess its just puppy love that time. I dont feel resentful over my actions neither regret it because its a choice I made. When the animation studio came over for dazzle video, I learnt about not to cry over spilled milk.

Everything's over now.
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Church's youth anniverysary is coming. I dont recall doing deco so strenuous. Hahas, going church on thurs for deco and singspiration. The reason I blogged because Kenneth junior talked to me about it. Hahas, well, hey im back :D

There is so many crazy pics with D. Indian Bastard and C. Frrrrench bastard. Hahas, gonna go do church work- drawing on the crepe paper. Cant wait for my aem results when school reopens. Which reminds me, I havent touch my homework. I left phy, ss, emath, amath. Everything listed here, is halfway thur. Which is maddening.

BYE.

Bad mood

2010-06-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

People, I feel like quitting blogger. I dont understand why some people cannot read instructions. I stick a note on my door and said to leave me. But they still just came. I didnt want to talk afraid that I will break down and cry, shout, scream, yell. But, afterall, I did talk but break down after they leave. I talk to them because I pity their ability to understand simple things.

Today I finally just screamed while putting the plates. I felt fustrated I broke down and cried in the room. Theres so many things I cant tell to people. My good friends were there when I needed them. Thank you so much guys.

I emptied my godfather's wine now I have nth to drink. Many people are stopping me from alcohol, im controlling and now I miss carlsberg. I punched the bed fustrated and irritated. I dont understand why. Im a gentle two-faced.

-Reasoning: Coz I tend to say no to desires and pleasures when in my heart I said yes. That potential loud scream, YES!

Sometimes, when peoples ask me to admit and say it out loud my feelings to somebody. I cant, easy for them to say. I hate those who just did it. I cant really tell why. To someone out there, if you really came by this site, just wanna let you know, I love you so much. I cant get to see you and I cant get to text you. Im thinking real hard whether do you still love me. I dont know what you need neither do I know what I actually need. I have the tendencies to write diaries but now I quit it. I found penning my thoughts down are useless becuase you are not gonna read it.

Hey peepo, no issues or topics bout this post. I wont entertain texts or phone calls from ANYONE. SERIOUSLY.

Im getting ready for couzzie outing tmr. MY cash is going low. For those of you who think that my cash source grows on trees, eff off yeah? And, if you really insist, I wont enter anywhere becoz im short of cash and most probably, I wont borrow. You treat me what? Some effing beggar? Please, im not. I dont wanna be. And for those of you who keep on asking me to wait but in the end forget that im still waiting, grow up. Becoz, after 5mins, im gonna close up the chat.

To a special friend: You have been the greatest source of emotionally, physically and physcologically support. I can always count on you for my tasks. And you nvr fail to turn up. You are just my another good friend here. Someday, I know you will get her to be by your side. Im here supporting the decisions you made. Thank you.

To all my good friends ( includes besties) : hey, thank yall!

-RANDOM.

HELLO(:

2010-04-02T00:53:00.000-07:00

Heyy, ive been out hunting lately and nvr update. Awww!

Firstly, a belated thingy. HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY AND HAPPY B'DAY KERB!

Kerb, uve been a great cousin. Well, that's all for now. Gonna be MissingInAction again. Maybe im quitting blogger. Hahas. <3 everyone!

HAPPY B'DAY ESTER

2010-03-25T05:44:00.000-07:00

Ytd blooger cant work. My comp crash I guess. Hahas!

Firstly, I would like to wish Ester, my beloved kor a happy belated b'day! Hahas, smile! Stop being a monkey ure like 15. Hahas, its a failure b'day party as we wanted to smack ester with cream but he found out and ran away! Awww... Next year you'll get more ester!!!

Now for the pics: Dedicated to him. PLUS, his candid shot!

So what the hell is Clement doing!!! Hahas!

The Esters' rock!

My kor, aka, Ester yo, rocks! See his handsome and sexy face! That's all for now!

The greatest pangseh day!

2010-03-23T03:52:00.000-07:00

Firstly, a big sorry to woman coz I pangseh you. I didnt mean to, like I didnt get use. T'was that jerk last time so I wasnt used to it. Dont worry wont anymore and look forward to thurs okay! Btw, ps: Ure changing lives *winks*, love you stewPIG!
My face super pink. Not so obvious here. (: Woman look sicky.

Some yummy treats here- durian whip cream

Its a bit disgusting over here but its super nice!

Me in that current all-durian situation.

Daddy just wouldn't look up!

Me and my bandage-s hand. Cool right?! Woman was like *gasp*.

A trip to the movie and we missed it? Was it that day? Poor woman, huhu. But the huhu no air come out. Like very hard to blow everything out.

Daddy was like talking on the phone for this photo and the next. MUACKS daddy!

**Apparently, when uploading, blogger loads too slow I waitedd 5 min for a pic and then went dc. So I shall post the rest on friday or saturday. Tommorrow is reserved for a beloved stupid monkey behaving human(:

A little while,

2010-03-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

Currently online, like so secretive. Cant post any pics yet due to a reason. Mt temperature is going up and down. Ive been thur a lot like this few days. Wed went ECP with Derek, Zhi Bing, Fanasha, Clement and Arthur. I learnt how to start off a bike. And many thanks to Derek and Fanasha for teaching me. Thurs, I went to catch kidnapper with Wei Qiang. The guy's name was Wei Siang, so I suan him with it. We went to get yoghurt, and WQ was like ohmy so sour. And he gave a sick face but still ate it.

Friday was like super funny. So many fond memories with my woman. the illuma door was supposed to be pushed but we kept on pulling.
Me: I tot push wad?
V:ya lor.
*Pull pull*
Me:Heh, push lar!
V:yar!

Then I laughed all the way. Stupid fanasha, made me laugh and laugh. I almost vomit. Went bugis street and woman was upset, there's a particular reason. Dont worry, not dead yet.

Saturday, went library with Xuan Ze. I couldnt find a socket for my laptop so in the end I went home to do physics. Damn, first attempt: 23%. 2nd attempt: 57%. Tsch, I pissed and then talked to bx then he was like grossing here and there.

Pics unavailable, coz its super lag and im sicky. Gonna chiong chemistry and geog. My geog is half-way done only!!!

New blog

2010-03-10T02:43:00.000-08:00

Heyyy peepo, spamming of pics coming up alright!!! First up, me and my woman's. Oh and, woman stop grumbling bout the stairs, who was the first one who clamied herself strong enough? HAHAS!

This one is totale ugleh. I look like a retard!!!
And so is this.
My face here is like super serious!!!

Hahas, one funny face pose like end up shitty and can anyone see clearly my face?

BHB worh! Hahas. My great woman, fanasha.

I cant see my face here too
So is this one too. Scary. okay, this one is totale reeeetard coz I used the negative effect with the camera.
My eyes look like cat's eyes here. :O

*GIGGLES*
*Vomits* hahas, I had a horrible day but great time with Fanasha.
Ignore the direction im facing.
Camera shy. >.<

Pwen and Fanasha.

Jin Wei, Me and Fanasha.
From this pic; up and onwards is me and Jas. If you see me drink liquor, its not show-off. and neither am I alcoholic. I drink on some occasions and in a year, I touch it only like 4 times.

Lastly, Denise have beautiful long black dress. *Admires*.

And this is smth dedicated to some peepo. I dont wanna take the initiative, Ive been trying and putting in all my effort... If you all cant just come over and do a lil' smth, then I think its time I hit highway. My effort into the drain. And now, all I can say is, this whole thing is left till nothing. And so, my chance given to yall' millions of times now died away. When the last leaf on the tree falls, its back to a seed again. And I probaably wouldnt want to nurture it coz it'll nvr bear fruits for me.

Well, I'll post the rest of the odac pics, cny pics and me with fanasha's pics like maybe next week or sat? Hahas, look for it peepo. Thanks and byes!

NEW POST

2010-02-24T01:31:00.003-08:00

HELLO.